Why we can't go along anymore?

I keep on my mind how different this situation could be today..At the time we were dating, everything seems going smooth..He is kind, romantic, and gentle. He always listen to my complaints and be my shelter of life.

Now, he prefer to watch TV than talk to me. Taking the rest of his leisure time to sleep than to have dinner together..When I want to eat pizza, he prefer to eat chinese food. When I need to be listened, he prefer to going to the bar with his friends..what happened with us? why we can't go along again in this marriage?

If you have similar problems like above, try this tricks to hold your marriage safely:

1. Accepting that You and Him are different character..
Learn to understand that you are 2 different people with unique characteristics. He will
never be the same with you. Don't push it to be the same..
Rather than expliciting the differences, trying to accept the differences will ease to keep your marriage to run smoothly.

2. Never Blaming, but Introspect Yourself first
Change your angle of perspectives. It's time to learn to see in "his eyes" not "your eyes". It will
ease you to understand him more

3. Forgive and Forget
Nobody is innocent in the marriage. Once in a while, he must have some mistakes on you. The
effective recipe to keep marriage is to Forgive and Forget. It is not easy. Keep thinking that
your love to him is bigger than his mistake. Remember all the sweet things that he has done to
you..A little mistake won't be big anymore..

4. Marriage is about "We" and not "You and I" anymore.
Compromising is the most effective word to describe it. See every problem on "Our Eyes" not
"your eyes" or "my eyes". Discuss it together, communicate every problems with your spouse
and decide it together.

Marriage Value: Marriage is about taking 2 different characteristics into 1 soul. Always take "our side" than "your side" or "my side".

Two are Enough, Three are too Much!

It often happen that family has contributed a hot issue in the marriage. It could be his mother, her father, or any other family members. They are giving opinions, push it to be implemented in your marriage and soon it arises flames in your marriage..

I believe that family has their good will for you. But it is the time to put the opinions on the place it should be. If you encounter the problems, discuss it first with your spouse..Listen to his/her opinions then finalize the solution together.

If the problem persists and it still become the confussions for both of you, then a little help may do. Asking the opinion of the elder one may help such as parents, auntie, cousins. But just listen and make it to be your reference. Discuss it again about pros and cons to your spouse then decide it.

But the fact sometimes doesn't run smooth. Family sometimes become too dominant in determining "your marriage boat direction". They keep pushing and pushing opinion into yours.
Learn to pull them aside of "your marriage area". being strict is important to do.
Don't let other people ruin your "marriage boundary". but always do it in the manner way and not insulting others. Treat every opinion as reference but the final decision is yours.

Marriage Value: It is important to remember that marriage is belong to you and your spouse. Family is important in contributing ideas but the final decision must be yours to choose..

Someone please help me! I am bored with my marriage already..

I am 27 years old and my wife is 25. we have already get married for almost 3 years. First time I met her in the library. She is cute, calm, and intelligent. I am truly in love with her and 6 months after that, we got married.

At early year, I work as Marketing in a well-known company and she works as kindergarten teacher. We have a 1 year daughter. Life goes so meaningful at that time.

On the 2nd second year, we dont feel the same anymore. In fact, I do try to arise topics.
I talk about marketing, my plans, my strategy, but she seem put no interests. then, she started to talk about the naughty kid who tried to steal her pencils in the kindergarten. Dont you realized how boring it is?

Even She becomes not calm anymore. Everytime I go home, she must fight me for something. my smelly t-shirt, my old favourite blanket , even my snoring...hmpph!

The only thing that we do together is watching TV. Indeed, we still argue about this. I prefer soccer, she prefer to watch movie. Just find the result: I get angry, then I go to sleep.

I feel depressed everytime I go home. I still love her but what should I do?

With all pressures of life, we often find marriage becomes so boring. Things become routine and no romance anymore. Everyday feels to be the same way. Problems by problems overwhelmed the marriage.
Here are Few Tips to Restore:
1. Start dating again
I mean dating with your spouse, not with others. Find yourself in the early stage of your relationship where you can both doing fun things and talking to each other.
Avoid to talk about children, work, family issues and day to day problems. Make your dates fun and enjoyable for both of you. Talk and share with your loved one..
Dont go to the movies as you cant talk to each other. Use your date to know each other again and to have fun with your spouse.

2. Plan an activity together
Find an activity that you both love. Spend more time together will grow your love. Share your feelings and your excitement to each other.

3. Changing the mindset
You marry her because she is the best one for you. Right? Keep it in mind, reflect the good points in your loved one and what will happen to you if you marry someone else..it will ease you to be grateful for your marriage and appreciate him / her more.
4. Hypnotize yourself positively
Stand in front of mirror every morning. Say to yourself: I am happy today. I have a beautiful life and nothing will take me away from this happiness. I love my life, my job, my family. My Wife loves me and so do I. We are happy. I have wonderful marriage and today will become happier than yesterday...
Marriage Value: It is normal to get bored in marriage. The point is don't ever give up. Put extra "fire" in your marriage and your marriage flame will burn again..

Are you dare enough to know the truth?

One day, Socrates took his students for a walk. They were Aristodemus, Apolloderus, Aghaton, and Plato.
In the morning walk, Plato asked "Teacher, What is the essence of Love?

The teacher answered: "Will you go now into the forrest ahead, find for me the best tree stick you can find, cut it off and bring it to me!

Plato was started to observe the forrest. In the short time, he got a fresh tree stick. When he saw around, He found that the forrest was containing many kinds of trees.
Maybe I could get better tree stick if I got deeper into the forrest. He keep thinking that way when he found better stick. He entered into deeper..deeper inside the forrest.
In the afternoon, Plato went home and he brought nothing.

Socrates asked Plato:"Have you already found the tree stick? Plato answered: "I am sorry. I was walking in the forrest all day long. I have seen many beautiful tree. But each time I want to cut it, I think there must be a better tree deeper inside the forrest."
"I keep doing so, then I realized the day has become dark, so I went home. I am sorry".

Socrates smiled wisely. He said:"Well, son..you have found the essence of love. You are searching and find one. then you think you will find the better one in the future and keep comparing. at the end, you get nothing"

Its early in the morning. Plato came to his teacher once again. He said:"Teacher, I have understood the essence of love, but what is the difference of essence of marriage?

Socrates smiled. He said:"My son, go back to the forrest and do what I have ordered you yesterday".
This time, Plato has already come back at lunch time. He brought a fresh shiny tree stick.
Socrates asked:"My son, is it the best tree stick you can find inside there?". Plato answered:"Teacher, it is a fresh and strong tree. though I know maybe it is not the best tree inside there, but I choose it, as I dont want to go home with empty hands".

Socrates answered calmly:"Son, that is the essence of marriage. It is when you decide to choose the best and though you know that maybe it is not the best one. Here you have determined to choose, to unite 2 hearts, 2 different characters. Indeed the couple shall share and unite 2 perspective into one, and darely accept the positive and negative side of the spouse.

Marriage is about giving and receiving. There are no longer "Me..Me..Me" or "You..You..You". There only sounds as "Us..". In fact, that doesnt mean that you will lose your personality. But everytime you decide on something, you will put the element "Us.." to take part.

Of course, you will find obstacles in doing so, as it is not easy to unite 2 different characteristics in 1 soul. but the point is you should learn that marriage is about taking 2 people to the same direction.
You can picture it as 2 peoples in the same boat. the boat is leading into the same direction. You may turn slightly to the left, and maybe your spouse turn slightly to the right, but it will never change the main direction.

Marriage Value:
In marriage, we are 2 different people with the same direction. Forget about he becomes very stubborn, or she become so demanding. It is just the way of expressing the personality. Just lead your boat of marriage forward to the front! Remember, you are no longer "Me or You", but you have already become "Us".